Since last December things are huge chaos. a Positive Chaos, I am living in a routine that i am not used to it. Since December , I have been like Columbus, or Ibn Batota … I have been very active and to places i have never been before, Last minutes Planning, Adrenalin rushes, new cities, Late night planes, different food and the list goes on .

since 2022 life was hard, I had to pass my exams, find an appropriate Job, looking for a healthy and trustworthy circle of friends, in this process, I never realized how lonely i am. I always wondered how many people actually would know about me? or what i am doing? it is exciting… it remind me of the Truman show, the funny part about that Movie, in the End, when Truman decided to set himself free, people just sat around and wondered : what is then Now or next? and life moved on …

the question was and still since too long: How to set myself free ? but i am free … i can do whatever i want, i can choose wherever i want to go for example, so why i am setting those boundaries when i am in fact free … 🕊

From Paris to Amsterdam, to Brussels and Milan and Barcelona and there is still a lot of other things in the Bucket list. it was my way to confront and also reward myself for the endless patience, the endless moments of silence, the tears shedded alone during the hard days, the bitter moments of bullying, and the endless neglect and ignorance !

There was an endless rush of Adrenaline but also a lot of worries,Anxiety and fear …

I do not know what is going on, But Exploring did help me in finding a Piece of mind and setting clearer goals to what i want exactly.

in Museums, I spent endless moments staring at different paintings, my emotions were like a Volcano, i cannot explain the feelings, but how could you not feel something when you stare at something like those ?

or the moment when i sat quietly in Poechenellekelder in Brussels writing my Journal and enjoying Alcohol free beer,coffee, water and knackers all together

the Random Vintage Bar at the Navigli river in Milan and the welcoming and heart warming atmosphere …

I am really grateful to have this opportunity , to explore and know more despite everything around me is almost shady … i won’t forget those moments …. 2025 Thank you for being kinder than previous years … since 2020 till almost April 2024 … a big thanks also to the people who helped me standing up again and find a routine when things went extremely out of control … it is hard, but when i remember those random moments of kindness and care i feel nothing but grateful and thankful 🤍🕊

16.03.2025

München

Zainab